Nuclear Winter | Book 2 | First Spring Read online

  The shelter group's woodpile had more than its fair share of logs that needed to be cut into sections and split. That was time consuming, exhausting work, which sounded about perfect to Trev right about now.

  Thankfully his cousin let the issue rest after that, keeping whatever suspicions he had to himself. Over the following days the few visitors the family had noticed the new chest protecting the food and commented on it. Most were complimentary, how it was a good precaution. As for those who expressed concern about what event had prompted the construction project, they deflected the questions as best they could.

  The event definitely had its impact on the family. Beyond how they treated Linda, and to a lesser extent each other, finding out about her betrayal seemed to sap what little joy there was to be found in the frigid world they were struggling to survive in.

  Trev spent most of his time with Deb, who was incredible throughout the entire ordeal and seemed grateful for the chance to be the one giving emotional support for a change. His parents sort of retreated into their own bubbles, his mom focusing on her cooking and his dad disappearing into reading books. Jim carved up a storm and also looked for any excuse to visit the Halssons. As did Linda, although the two siblings never visited at the same time and avoided each other like the plague.

  Actually everyone avoided Linda like the plague, out of vindictiveness or simply aversion to the negative emotions what she'd done had instilled in them.

  It didn't take long before his dad's prediction about his sister feeling the consequences of her actions as time went on seemed to come true, and not just the strict rationing they put her under. Linda had always thrived on social interactions, even unpleasant drama if it meant attention. In fact she hadn't seemed to mind people getting on her case about her laziness or bad attitude since returning to Aspen Hill from the prison camp, and almost seemed to enjoy her ability to push their buttons and provoke a response.

  Now, whether intentionally or not, she was being shunned. The Halssons sensed the tension and were keeping their distance, and the cold kept neighbors from visiting. Also, in spite of the family's best efforts some word had to have gotten around, because everyone else seemed to be staying away too.

  Over time the cold indifference with which they couldn't help but treat Linda began to take its toll. She went from angry and defiant about what she'd done to sullen, and then gradually to listless.

  Finally one night, a week later, she finally broke down in miserable tears and begged for their forgiveness. She didn't ask for more food or try to justify her actions, and her contrition seemed genuine for once. Trev was willing to accept her apology at face value, although Jim's warning also held true that he wasn't sure he'd ever fully trust her again, even if he wanted to.

  A bit of the tension in the house eased after that. Trev doubted Linda's personality had changed, but at least she made a serious effort to keep it in check; she stayed quiet and did her best not to be noticed. And Jim didn't jump into a fight with her at the slightest provocation, although he stayed cool and barely spoke to her. Their parents cheered up a lot and started behaving more normally, and Trev and Deb felt like it was safe to come hang out in the main room again.

  About ten days after catching Linda stealing Trev and Lewis were at work reloading while Jane was out on patrol. After an hour or so of unusual quiet his cousin cleared his throat. “Looks like you worked out the problem, at least as much as it could be worked out.”

  Trev tensed slightly, but nodded. “I think so. You guys are okay with us keeping it to ourselves, right?”

  “We get it. It's a bad position to be in, and we're just sorry you guys had to go through it.” Lewis hesitated. “And if you guys need help with your food situation . . .”

  So his cousin had figured it out. Trev supposed the clues were all there to the observant eye. “We might,” he frankly admitted.

  “Let me know,” Lewis said, going back to his work. He turned the conversation to other things after that, and never brought the incident up again.

  * * * * *

  Time passed in a dull blur, one winter day blending into the next.

  Trev spent every spare moment with Deb in their own contented bubble. He filled the rest of the time with reloading and exercising with Lewis, watching the occasional movie with the family when they had the electricity, eating meals and socializing in the main room, and taking shifts on patrol or sentry duty and overseeing the defenders.

  They kept busy, but the extreme cold and short days that seemed to get longer with agonizing slowness as winter crept onward took their toll. Even at the best of times everyone was on edge from being confined indoors, unwilling to brave the bitter cold. When they did go out they were so bundled up that the wan sun barely touched their skin, and they hurried to get to their destination and escape the intolerable temperatures. Tempers frayed, and arguments became more common.

  Amazingly Linda wasn't at the heart of all these arguments, or even the majority of them.

  Trev found himself wishing more and more that winter would just be done and spring would roll in. Each day passed like molasses, but at the same time he was constantly surprised to look back and see how many days had gone by that he barely remembered.

  But not January 26th. That was a day he'd always remember.

  It nearly started with a heart attack when he was jolted awake by a weight landing squarely on top of him, bouncing up and down on the blankets he was huddled beneath. His alarm vanished when he opened his eyes to see Deb there, grinning ear to ear and face flushed from cold and excitement.

  “I just got back from visiting Dr. Maggy,” his wife shouted, sounding almost giddy. “She's 99.99 percent sure of her prognosis!” She sprawled on top of him and threw her arms around him tight with the blankets between them.

  Even in his sleep-fogged state Trev jumped to the immediate and obvious conclusion. “You're pregnant?” he blurted.

  “We're pregnant,” Deb corrected emphatically, peppering his face with kisses before she finally found his mouth and latched on passionately.

  From the other room came a sound like a train whistle, and they both jumped and broke the kiss in embarrassment as the door to their room burst open. Linda came barging in, light brown hair pushed up on one side in some serious bedhead.

  “You're having a baby?” his sister shrieked, throwing her arms around Deb. “I'm going to be an aunt?”

  Jim was soon in the room as well, sharing the excitement, and then their parents came in to see what all the fuss was about. Through it all Trev lay in a state of near shock.

  A baby. He was going to have a baby. He was going to be a dad. Elation warred with a writhing coil of stark terror in his gut when he thought of the world his child would be born into. The life it might have to lead.

  Elation won. Trev sat up and freed his arms from underneath the blankets to pull his wife into a tight hug, burying his face in her hair. Linda was still hugging her and transferred the hug to them both, and he felt his mom wrap her arms around all three of them while his dad clapped him on the back and Jim practically danced with excitement at the edge of the huddle.

  Deb was reporting on her visit to Dr. Maggy and what the OB/GYN had told her. “She thinks I'm a bit over three weeks along, with a lot of the telltale signs. Of course I missed my last time of the month, and that's a big one.”

  “So the baby will be born in October?” Linda asked, counting on her fingers.

  “That's her prediction,” Deb confirmed, wiggling in Trev's arms like an excited puppy as she turned to look at him. “Is it too soon to go tell everyone?”

  Trev shrugged and gave her a lopsided smile. “Don't see why not.”

  “I'm coming too!” Linda squealed, bolting out of their room to get her winter clothes on.

  The rest of the day was a happy haze of congratulatory visits interspersed with his duties to the town. Deb stuck close to his side when he had to work, bursting with excited energy the entire time. She only reluctan
tly agreed to return home when it was time for his shift on patrol to start, giving him a lingering goodbye kiss before bolting away through the snow.

  A couple days after the announcement Dr. Maggy came around to check on Deb's condition, informing Trev that she recommended regular visits from here on out to make sure the pregnancy was going smoothly. He was a bit surprised to find the two women already seemed well acquainted, more than just what one visit could account for, and at his curiosity his wife admitted she'd visited the doctor a few times.

  That made sense, considering Dr. Maggy was the only OB/GYN in town. She was probably swamped with work just doing regular checkups on women who weren't pregnant or dealing with issues. Although Deb seemed a bit embarrassed and reticent about the previous visits, almost secretive. Which he supposed he couldn't blame her for, given the intimate nature of the checkups, so he apologized for bringing it up and left them to continue this one.

  The news was good. Deb was healthy and the doctor was confident there were no issues to be concerned about. She congratulated them as Trev thanked her and handed over her modest payment, giving a bit of final advice before she headed out the door to her next appointment.

  One piece of that advice was fairly self-evident, he supposed. In Deb's condition it was strongly not recommended that she continue sitting out in the cold all night on sentry duty. Trev vehemently agreed, not only because of that but because of the potential danger, and although his wife seemed a bit glum about the news he decided to pull her off the roster.

  Which meant he'd have to find at least one more volunteer to fill in for her. But it wasn't the first time a defender had dropped out, and few had been able to offer a justifiable reason like being pregnant.

  Over the next few weeks the temperature rose into the low 10s. That was still frigid by any standards, but compared to the brutal temperatures of January it was more than bearable. Trev saw more people out and about, way more than could be justified by the weather or any tasks they might have. Mostly they were just desperate to escape the dank, smelly, smoky, and dim confines of their homes. Few families had quality stoves or a light source other than fireplaces, and the lack of those things took a surprising toll.

  Those were busy weeks for Trev. With the increased temperature the risk of attack increased as well, and he had trouble focusing fully on his duties while distracted by thoughts of the baby and his worries for it and for his wife.

  He had a new appreciation for Matt's fretting about Sam and Olivia's delivery, and found himself plagued by those same fears.

  A much more pleasant distraction than his worries was Deb's attention. He didn't know if it was hormones or excitement about the thought of having a baby, or the fact that she was a little bored from having much more free time since she was off sentry duty, or maybe a combination of all of the above, but his wife became even more affectionate. She also encouraged him to take the lead in their lovemaking, and not hesitate to initiate it or ask her to try things he found enjoyable.

  Around the middle of February the temperatures dropped down to around zero again, and even dipped below it on some nights. People disappeared back into their homes, and the gloom of winter seemed to reassert itself. Under usual circumstances, around this time of year they'd expect to be looking at the tail end of winter, with temperatures steadily increasing through March and often comfortable enough to get out and enjoy the sun in a light jacket or even shirtsleeves.

  Not this year, when they had to deal with the thought that warm weather was still months away, and just when they should be looking toward spring they were still stuck in temperatures comparable to the coldest days of a normal winter.

  Trev had even more reason to fret during that time, because during the romantic evening he'd planned for Valentine's Day Deb was quiet and obviously worried about something, although she seemed reluctant to spoil the mood by discussing it.

  Then the next morning, without any sort of explanation, his wife told him she was going to see Dr. Maggy outside her usually scheduled checkup. She evaded his questions as she prepared to leave, and it was only when she got back from her visit that she finally opened up.

  It turned out she'd been having some minor bleeding. She was quick to pass on the OB/GYN's assurances that bleeding wasn't uncommon during the first trimester of pregnancy, and probably didn't mean anything. She also passed on the doctor's instructions to take things even easier and avoid stress for the next few weeks.

  All meant to ease his fears, but Trev had been so hyper aware of Deb's moods for so long, trying to help her through her recovery, that he could tell she was more bothered than she let on, and didn't quite believe her own reassurances.

  Especially after several days of tense worry, when she began experiencing cramping. Again after a visit to Dr. Maggy she told him that that didn't necessarily mean a serious issue, but Trev was growing alarmed and he could tell she was, too.

  * * * * *

  On February 22nd Trev was awakened in the middle of the night by a painfully tight grip on his arm.

  He came alert immediately, looking around in the darkness with his ears straining, searching for some danger. But it turned out it was Deb holding him; he could feel that she was curled up in a ball at his side and hear her soft, pained panting.

  “No, please not this,” she moaned.

  In his muddled state his first thought was that she was having nightmares, flashbacks to her time as a prisoner. Those almost never happened now, but they still did every once in a while. Then he remembered with alarm the issues she'd been having with her pregnancy.

  He immediately leaned over her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Deb?” he whispered.

  The hand on his arm moved up to grip his wrist, tight enough to hurt. “Dear, get Dr. Maggy,” she hissed through gritted teeth.

  Trev bolted out of bed, dread coiling in his gut. Spurred by his wife's pained whimpers he dressed in record time and bolted out into the night.

  Dr. Maggy took being awakened in the dead of night with good grace. Actually she didn't seem overly surprised that he'd come to get her, which confirmed his suspicion that Deb's complications really had been something to worry about.

  Trev let her into their room and turned the lights on, at which point he was alarmed to find Deb hunched over their bed gasping in short, panting breaths. More alarming still her underclothes and the bedsheets were stained with red.

  The OB/GYN immediately ushered him out of the room, shutting the door firmly on him even as she peppered his wife with questions and instructions.

  “Trev?” he heard his mom whisper quietly from her bed. The room was lit only by the nightlight, and he could barely see her silhouette. “What's going on?”

  He didn't want to worry his family, especially since he was already freaking out himself. He didn't want to consider the implications of what he'd seen, but in the back of his mind he had a horrible idea what it meant.

  “I'm not sure,” he said honestly. “Sorry, go back to sleep.”

  “Go back to sleep?” she replied, fumbling the covers away to stand and come over to him. “How, when something serious is going on? Is that Dr. Maggy I hear talking in there?”

  His shoulders sagged, and he slumped down to sit on one of the stools around the stove. “It is,” he said. His voice sounded more frightened than he'd wanted. “Deb is-”

  He broke off. He couldn't finish.

  His mom came to hold him comfortingly, while the rest of his family stirred awake. Over the next few minutes he did his best to answer their questions without letting the noise they made rise too high, hyperaware of the low murmur of voices coming from his room.

  Once the situation was explained they fell into tense silence, waiting. It was almost ten minutes before the door cracked open and Dr. Maggy slipped out.

  Trev glanced at the rest of his family, a clear request for space, as he drew the doctor over near the front door of the small room. His mom was quick to gather up the others and move them to
the other side of the stove, speaking softly to them to give him some privacy.

  “Is she okay?” he asked the older woman in a low voice.

  “She is, but . . .” Dr. Maggy took a breath, eyes sympathetic. “I'm sorry, Trev. Deb miscarried. It's more common than you might think during the early stages of pregnancy, even with all our modern medical knowledge and equipment. It's just something that happens sometimes.” She rested a hand on his arm. “There's every chance your next attempt will be perfectly successful.”

  Trev closed his eyes. Of course he'd guessed that was what was happening, but it still tore at his heart to hear it. “Why?”

  “Why did it happen?” The older woman shook her head. “I can't say exactly. There are a number of reasons why women miscarry, and the most common causes have nothing to do with anything she did or didn't do. They're just part of life.”

  That wasn't what he was talking about. He didn't want to have to spell it out, but he didn't see how he could avoid it. “I mean is it possible there's some internal injury from, uh, what she went through as a prisoner?”

  Dr. Maggy let her hand drop, voice becoming firm. “Occam's razor, Trev. With all the simple explanations for why it happened there's no reason to jump to the least likely and most alarming one.” Her tone softened again. “Your wife is fine. You'll have a chance to try again. And while this isn't exactly medical advice, I'd recommend you go give her your comfort and support now. This is a difficult time for any expectant mother.”

  “Of course,” he said, starting for his room. “Thank you, Doctor.”

  After a brief, quiet word with the rest of the family, and an assurance from his dad that he'd make sure the OB/GYN was compensated for her time, Trev slipped back into his room. He found Deb sitting on the bed with her back against the wall, knees up to her chest and eyes red from tears. She was dressed in clean clothes, and her soiled undergarments and the bedsheets made a wadded bundle in the corner.

  His wife burst into fresh sobs as he closed the door, holding out her arms to him.

  Trev closed the space in a heartbeat and held her close. He wasn't sure what he could say, wasn't sure he was ready to say anything while facing his own grief, so he just made soothing noises as tears leaked from his own eyes.